fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said “you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real” and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like “you’re not hitting me hard enough do it for real” and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour lmao and that’s the take they used in the movie with no added sound effects
all of that aside
“you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real”
is the best answer ever.
The Australian Army
omg i love us
is this attack on titan
apparently my mom is not even home
and the person i hear puttering around the house is the carpet cleaning service
I’VE BEEN YELLING ‘GRILL ME A CHEESE’ AT THEM FOR 20 MINUTES
Sometimes people ask me for romantic advice. My advice? Hang your future girlfriend’s painting right-side up for God’s sake.
Our school has this “Stone Tablet Policy” which basically says that there is no excuse for not turning in your assignments and that you must turn them in even if you have to carve it into a stone tablet.
So this kid carved his 8 page essay about California drug laws into $70 worth of limestone.
When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.
She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.
She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.
Girl is 50 years old.
FIFTY. YEARS. OLD.
fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your fingers on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this.
You asshat, you’re making it sound like she snaps her fingers in half.
Martial artists like Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee (and yes, fucking Ming-Na Wen, that beautiful badass) will build up their bone strength by repeatedly (and fairly gently) striking sand, gravel, wood and steel - this creates tons of microfractures in their bones (smaller than even a hairline fracture) so the bones will heal over again and make the bones stronger and denser with increased deposits of calcium.
This has to be done over long-ass periods of time, so the bones have time to heal, and none of the fractures expand into actual breaks.
Oh, and she’s doing precise-ass kicks in HIGH HEELS.
she kicks ass like a coursing river
with all the force of a great typhoon
I’m at that point in a semester where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger